i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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