YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just had sex bonerless
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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