Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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