Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
pray to the hookup gods
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
