I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
