i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
