You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The Olympian is in my bed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
