The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize