just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
