I CAN MOONWALK!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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