As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
