hotel room ftw
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I understand Curling. That high.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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