so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Randomize
