I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
