I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
