Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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