think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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