the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
