I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
