are you still at the devil's house?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
