At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
