Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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