College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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