Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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