The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
