Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize