Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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