Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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