We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
