Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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