why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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