True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize