She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
