Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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