I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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