Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
