I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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