Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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