Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
