cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This baby is an asshole
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
