Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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