he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize