you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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