Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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