Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
