...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
