Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
