I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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