let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
