All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
