It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize