I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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