I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
