I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
