On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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