I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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