Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
