He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
