We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
