Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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