You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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