its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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