Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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