In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
