did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im holly from the hills drunk
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
