fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
do herpes really smell.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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